A Poem for a Tree

Oh, Barney the tree,

How art thee?

You look good,

From what I can see.

I walked by a girl

Named Moll-e,

Who just finished watching

Wall-e.

Look it's sunn-e!

So much better than yesterday

When it was...gloom-e!

"The enemy see

A sea anemone."

Editor's Note:

The author would like to acknowledge that this is in fact a poor attempt to construct a poem. He would also like to say that when looking through his inbox yesterday he came upon an email that detailed "free post" as the blog assignment, a task he was so thoroughly excited for. He began thinking of the possibile topics in which he could write about, vis-a-vis, a possible follow up to the entry A Load of Crop--to which the author responded by screaming "$%^& YES!" in obvious excitement and shock to his unsuspecting roommates. After closely inspecting the email his dreams were dashed and he became deflated, thus resulting in this poem. How tragic. The author apologizes if after reading the editor's note you wish you had not. He acknowledges that time is fleeting and reading this constitutes time you will never get back.

A Load of Crop

I guess I will use this space to expound on an organization that I hate and feel as though you should too. Need I go further than mention that American farmers characterize Monsanto as the...*gasp*..."Gestapo"??? And!!! In 2008 there were 16, 196 farmers that committed suicide in India. As suggested in short documentary by Frontline, there was a linkage between farmers who were using GMO's and increased debts...leading to the equivalent of indentured servitude...leading to suicides....all which may not be the actual case, but in any sort of the matter I would like to feel that Monsanto (and Cargill, which, interestingly enough, has their own wikipedia page dedicated to "Criticisms of Cargill") is somehow adding to this measure--not in like a "they're evil and purposely trying to off Indian farmers," but from the standpoint that there is an issue but "we're too douchey and only care about profits." A slogan they probably should adapt.

But let's cut out the morbidity for second and go to something less extreme, something more towards the end of extortion. Here's farmer Joe and he buys seeds from Monsanto. He plants his seeds, only using about 75% of them, and the next growing season he has seeds left over. Joe decides to use those left over seeds--WRONG!!!!!! A fine is slapped on farmer Joe. Monsanto lawyers in their polar bear fur coats, aligator suits and bald eagle skinned hats come driving up the gravel path to farmer Joe's house in Hummers and ask farmer Joe if he used the seeds, and he did, so they take out their gold plated clipboards and platinum pens, cram legal documents in Joe's face, and it's so bad he suffers a paper cut...On the way out from farmer Joe's they swerve to run over his precious dog and cackle like hyenas as they blare Ted Nugent from their speakers and honk their horns wildly riding off into the sunset.

BUT WAIT.

They stop at neighboring farmer Phil's because somehow through their extremely tinted Hummer windows and over their conversations about possibly buying Ford F-150s as the new Monsanto Repo Men fleet truck, and how awesome it would be to have the truck jacked up 20 feet in the air (because apparently that's awesome...), they spotted the lone crop in a field that came from a Monsanto seed. A seed that had blown from farmer Joe's plot of land and landed on Phil's farm, without his knowledge, but you know what??? He's screwed.

"We've got a code destroy-this farmer," squawks a Monsanto lawyer into a radio receiver.

Shortly thereafter a plane flies over Phil's farm and Monsanto lawyers parachute from the plane and float down to the farm by the dozens. Once on the ground they locate Phil and drag him over to the lone Monsanto crop.

"We know what you're up to," all the lawyers say in unison. They all speed-dial the closest court to begin proceeding for the lawsuit Monsanto slapped on Phil seconds after the legion of lawyers jumped out of the plane en route to Phil's farm. Little did they know that Phil's wife recently had octuplets, and oddly enough, it was the second time his wife has had octuplets. 16 kids!! And they all have to go to college. With the measly wages farmer Phil earns, how can he support the 2 pairs of octuplets!!!!!! But Monsanto has no conscience. And another American farmer was ruined.

So let this be a warning to you, and to everyone who wishes to live and not fall to this fate: let this enlighten you to the misery that is Monsanto.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

No budding yet. On Saturday I looked out from my deck and saw that a few trees had begun to bud. I had hoped Barney might have begun to as well, but that did not turn out to be the case.

So what are we to expect? Well, spring seems to be around the corner. There is a feeling though that winter could have one last breath before it gives in. I don't think that a frost, or snow, would drastically impact Barney.

However, there does happen to be one consequence of spring...I had noted in an earlier post that there were flags around Barney that seemed to indicate that some kind of digging. Well, with the arrival of spring, I believe that may happen soon. This could affect the soil around Barney as well as the air quality and drainage. Still hoping that Barney will be here and that the digging won't be too invasive.

Another possible issue could be that with warmer weather, there will be more food traffic; increased amounts of waste around Barney; urination and increase salinity of the soil in the immediate area; organic waste. I also think that Barney can handle this, simply because he has experienced it before and is still here.